Okay, so you remember how I was absent from here for a year and then reappeared a couple weeks back saying that so much had changed in my life during that time? No? Well, I did. And now I'm gonna tell you what some of that "so much" was.
Last February, my mother had a moderate stroke. It didn't present like a typical stroke. It was a gradual progression of symptoms over a couple weeks time. Vision problems were the first to occur; her peripheral vision went to shit and she tore off the bumper to her car backing out of the driveway. Then came the weakness on her left side. There were worries that it was a brain tumor in addition to the stroke, based on the history of her two lung cancers and the fact that the MRIs showed an area that looked rather mass-like for ~just a stroke. Luckily, it turned out to be ~just a stroke. Last spring there were many specialist appointments and tests, surgery to clear out her right carotid artery, a likely second stroke during surgery, intermittent spasms of her left arm (turned out to be seizures), a full-body seizure the week after surgery (during which I thought I was losing her and found out that I am an excellent person to have around during an emergency) and an ambulance and an ER visit, physical and hand therapy appointments, and my father being absolutely useless and as a result, me being her caregiver. It was a moderate stroke with few cognitive effects (she is more prone to crying now than she ever was before), but she is left handed and MAJORLY so. I had to help her do such things as fastening her bra.
Fast forward to now, almost exactly a year from when all this began. She still can't write. The less I think about her not being able to paint anymore, the better. I need to help her do her hair, and do most of the driving and errands, the making of her food. She has good days and bad days, and has been pretty weak for the last few days. But she is so much more stronger now than she was last spring and summer. And most importantly, SHE IS STILL HERE
. That is what matters the most.
During all of this, there were some wonderful moments outside~, like:
- spending time with some of my favorite people ♥ ♥ ♥ yournamehere121, zorabet, christig428, Kendra, Akemi, Kelsey, Jackie ♥ ♥ ♥
- more than a few concerts: Soundgarden (!!!!!!), PRINCE, Neko Case & Calexico, Little Dragon (twice!), Patrick Wolf (with Calpurnia Addams, who I find so inspiring), Andrew Bird, Architecture in Helsinki, Yelle, Wild Beasts, Stars, Jack's Mannequin (twice with yournamehere121), New Pornographers
- my first San Francisco Pride
- my obsession with Sherlock (so. much. excellent. fic.) (here be my recs)
- getting TWO tattoos: an art nouveau flower on my righter inner forearm and a Charles Rennie Mackintosh rose design on my right wrist
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- my summer fling with X-Men: First Class fandom
- adopting an adorable ginger tabby kitten named Mackintosh
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- oh, and as of this December, I have my Master's in Experimental Psychology. FINALLY. :DDDDDD
2011 was the hardest year of my life so far. But it could have been so much worse. I am beyond thankful that it wasn't.
So, remember to always tell those who you care for how you feel because you never know what will happen tomorrow or even what will happen five minutes from now.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ to everyone reading this